It was on a train to Siberia that Joy Neumeyer decided to write her story.  Despite the distance between Russia and her history graduate program at Berkeley, she was still haunted by the memory of her abusive relationship with her boyfriend and classmate.  In the early morning hours between Moscow and the Ural Mountains, she recalled being awakened by her boyfriend’s hand wrapped around her neck before being dragged out of bed.  Arriving in the town of Yekaterinburg where the Tsar and his family spent their final days, she began to type what became an essay published in the prestigious American Historical Review, then a book, A Survivor’s Story: Women, Violence, and the Stories We Don’ t Tell.  It is at once a personal account of how she became a victim of interpersonal violence and a reflection on similar fates suffered by Russians in the Soviet past and women in America in more recent times.  It is a journey into the history and university legal process known as Title IX through which Joy sought institutional recourse and recognition.  

Joy describes her relationship as having an arc similar to that of the Russian Revolution. It began with friendship and camaraderie as fellow travelers in an elite history PhD program at Berkeley.  It was an exciting time filled with stimulating new ideas, debates, dialogue and possibilities.  But as her friendship blossomed into a romance, a new and unexpected power dynamic took shape driven by her boyfriend’s fears and paranoia.  Much like the Bolshevik elite who became the victims of Stalin’s rise to power, Joy found herself increasingly subjected to the verbal and physical abuse of her boyfriend.  Just as Bolshevik leaders like Nikolai Bukarian accepted the false charges and were willing to sacrifice themselves for what they believed was the greater good of the Revolution, Joy feared that she too risked succumbing to the terror.

Refusing to sacrifice herself, Joy decided to seek recourse at Berkeley through the Title IX system.  Title IX, she explains, originated with Bernice Sandler who in 1969 was denied tenure at the University of Maryland because, as a woman, she “came on too strong.”  Joining forces with the Women’s Equity Action League, she took action against hundreds of colleges and universities for being in violation of a recent executive order against discrimination based on sex.  Her activism led to the enactment of Title IX, a 1972 Education Amendment, that prohibited sex-based discrimination.  Originally limited to hiring and athletics, by the 1990s the scope of Title IX expanded to sexual violence and harassment. 

We all have a natural tendency to deny the possibility that someone we like could have a dark side. It’s tempting to adopt the narrative that confirms our views, even when it leads us to erase ourselves or to justify the crimes of others, like the fellow travelers and latter-day Stalinists who have seen terror as a minor aberration along the way to a noble goal. Joy Neumeyer, A Survivor’s Education: Women, Violence, and the Stories We Don’t Tell.

Title IX gave Joy her best chance of making her case because the burden of proof was lower.  Overhauled during the Obama administration because of its inadequences, schools were now required to have Title IX coordinators, clear investigative procedures and a limited time frame to reach a resolution.   Most importantly, the Obama administration established a “preponderance of evidence” standard, common to civil cases, where “most likely to have occurred,” rather than “beyond a reasonable doubt,” as in criminal cases, became the basis for verdicts.  If schools disregarded these new standards they could risk losing Federal funds.

Compiling evidence for her Title IX case was, in many respects, an eye opening experience.  First, Joy realized how she was complicit in masking her own abuse.  Searching through her past emails she became aware of the extent to which she emphasized her compassion and concern for her boyfriend, whom she names Daniel, rather than shock and alarm caused by his conduct.  If she communicated Daniel’s insults to her friends she censored her own words, remained deliberately vague and couched her comments as part of a normal, loving relationship.  When she had the opportunity to read the comments of friends and colleagues she was surprised and hurt by those who believed she was overbearing, suffocating and that Daniel had become the victim of unfair charges.  Professors whom she held in high regard became a source of disappointment when she discovered how their once revered insights were actually colored by second-hand accounts or personal bias.  

Joy’s Title IX process unfolded during the first Trump administration and a backlash against women’s rights.  A report published by the Association of American University Professors on “The History, Uses, and Abuses of Title IX” criticized how current interpretations constrained free speech and academic freedom.   Betsy DeVos, Secretary of Education during the first Trump administration, raised standards for evidence required in Title IX cases, bringing them closer to criminal cases.  Accused rapists were given the right to cross-examine victims and witnesses.  The National Assocation of Education noted that advocates were concerned that “forcing victims of sexual violence to be iterrogated by their attackers will worsen their trauma.”

Despite its limitations, Joy reminds us that Title IX is still a vast improvement over the conditions experienced by women in the past.  To highlight the changes and to reflect on the plight of women like herself in times past, Joy includes the story of Tatiana (“Tanya”) Tarasoff.  Tanya, a child of Russian immigrants, was a student at Berkeley in 1968 when she met Prosenjit Poddar, an engineering student from India.  What for Tanya was a casual relationship that she quickly ended was something altogether different for Prosenjit who refused to move on, began stalking and ultimately murdered Tanya.  Tanya had brought her fears and concerns to university administrators but was murdered before they reacted.   Even if Tanya had been able to make her case, there was no process in place to protect her from the reality or the threat of sexual violence.  

Progress did not happen overnight.  Even after Title IX was enacted in 1972 supposedly progressive institutions like Berkeley continued to cover up sexual violence perpetrated by faculty and denied descriminating against women.  It wasn’t until the late 1970s that feminists began to see domestic violence as a pillar of patriarchy and Title IX as an important tool in a fight that could be extended to university campuses.  This fight, however, continued to be an uphill battle.  Despite reports of date rape at universities making national news in the 1990s, as late as 2010 the Center for Public Integrity reported that most Title IX cases were dismissed, failing to meet the threshold of acceptable evidence.  

Title IX has come under assault in recent times.  It is now seen as a weapon used by militant women to victimize men based on trumped up, flimsy or fabricated charges. Both the first and second Trump administrations helped to foster and support a backlash against women’s rights.  Undoing the changes made during the Obama and Biden administrations, both Trump administrations have made it harder and more intimidating for women to seek recourse in cases of intimate partner violence.  Joy’s success in achieving a favorable verdict seems to be more the exception than the rule.  Moreover, success in a Title IX case should by no means be confused with a conviction in a criminal court.  Those who lose Title IX cases may be expelled but they will have no criminal record, no time removed from public life.  By remembering and sharing her story, as well as the stories of other victims of sexual violence, Joy hopes to build solitarity and challenge the silence at a time when this is most needed.